Category Archives: Videos

Dear Bernardo Winits

Dear Bernardo Winits,

All I know about you is that you were born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, in 1984 – and I’m not entirely sure about that.

Your manner of “laying down the track,” as they say, sounds crisp. If you were a painter, you’d be a Minimalist pop icon.

I love your love of humanism (i.e. your affection for Allen Ginsberg and Walt Whitman). And you’re so Meta on everyone’s favorite, ThatHipsterPorn: a post of your video that uses pictures of THP posts.

What are you doing right now? Perhaps you or one of your interns can reply and update your new fan.

Bernardo Winits,, Digit

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Dear Syd the Kyd and Matt Martin, aka The Internet

Dear Syd the Kyd and Matt Martin, aka The Internet,

Kudos on your vocals here — I was pleasantly surprised — and congrats on your new project. This song sort of sounds like Rhian Benson remixed by Pharell, in a good way. The tune is catchy and would actually be a whole lot better without Tyler spitting his four scary-drug-voice bars, and it could also do with a baseline. But the video…?? Aside from the annoying OFWGKTA attitude at the end that has you throwing this poor girl out of the truck for being unresponsive, have any of you actually tried cocaine? I know it’s the song’s title but, why the blurry vision, and hallucinations in slow motion? This is not the cocaine I know.

It looked as though perhaps you chased your line of cocaine with ecstasy. Cool. What would really be cool is some interesting and new concepts. Away from and OF style (ie. drug rapping, raping, hating women, doing it) and on to the next.

The Internet, Cocaine.

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Dear Azelia Banks’ Video

Dear Azelia Banks,

I just wrote you but I’ve since seen your video for 212.  I love you even more.  I love your cut-offs and close-up-mouth-shots — I find myself staring at your teeth and the sparkling powder on your cheeks.  More importantly, can I join in on your brick-wall-caravan!?  It looks like fun.  Also, I’d like to talk to the guy in the Oliver Peoples, who I can only assume is the producer, playing in cool with his “yeah, this is me” face.

Who needs wardrobe changes, hair, and make-up when you have mickey mouse, and a nineteen year old rapper/singer from Harlem who looks like she’s having as much making the video as I’m having watching it.

nb. maybe a little less visual enunciation next time around.

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE –> Azelia Banks, 212 Video

^^^Links to this video are being taken down fast so, watch it while you can.

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Dear Drake

Dear Drake,

Are you sponsored by Nike now?! Why the gloves? Is that so you don’t leave finger prints when you “catch a body” ?
Your new video is beautifully shot and edited, seriously!! But your hooded-sunglasses-wearing-posse? Who are those guys? And why does everyone at your dinner table need to smoke an extra long El Presidente cigar while looking surprised that they know not to inhale? And a tire-spinning-motorcycle-shot…really??

I still like the song, though – in case you were worried.

Drake, Headlines

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